Just Right

Fearfully and wonderfully made, these words have run through my mind in many a self-criticizing moment. Words to remind me who I am; I am the Lord's, created by him. Words to keep me from things I know I will regret later. 

If you've followed many of my past blog posts to the Living on Laughter page, you probably know about my past struggle with anorexia and self-scrutinization. In short, I like the feeling of hunger and felt that by anorexia I was in control of something when the rest of my world was full chaos. This was a huge problem for me for about two years back in high school until I decided to believe what God says about me. I am shaped by Him, and He doesn't make mistakes. It was a very long and difficult journey to feel okay with who I am and what I look like, and to be honest there are still days that I struggle with the eating disorder. Just last summer I relapsed for about three months into the mindset of not being enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart or funny enough. These lies would play through my mind every moment. They consumed me. Again I climbed out of that pit. The struggle was real. I was comfortable in my little cloud of misery, it was a thought pattern at this point, a lifestyle I needed to break. Now looking back I remember the pain of recovery and I am so grateful to God for where I am now. I never want to go back there. Never want to know the pain of hunger like that. A hunger to be what I already am - fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Because I never want to forget this truth, which is so drowned out by all the lies of this world and the culture I live in, I had the phrase tattooed onto my body. Now every time I think for even a moment that I need to change the body that God created for me I look at my arm and remember what He says about me, that He made me just right.

This phrase comes straight from the inspired word of God. Psalm 139:14 reads "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I praise God because all of His creations are beautiful. I think about the stars, the flowers now blooming, and the pretty purple trees that I love so much. They were all designed by my creator. They are all beautiful. (Then I think about the bugs and muck and, yes, they are all made by God too :-p haha) 

Having/getting this tattoo has really been an adventure! It started when I went to the tattoo shop to get it done about a month ago and it continues everyday as a I find this mark on my arm a very effective conversation starter. I get to tell people what my God has done for me, and so far they only respond with positive remarks. I look forward to what He has planned for this story. What He can do with my testimony for others that may struggle with their view of themselves as I did. 

I don't know what you may have struggled with or maybe still do struggle with, but I do know that God works everything together for those who love Him. If you're giving into the temptations of this world know that God is faithful and mighty to save you, and if you have a story of what God has already done for you, share it! He wants to use the work He has already done in you to encourage those around you. 

Share your story with others, and please share it with me! I want to know what God has done for you! You can contact me through my google+ account, facebook, or even the comment bar bellow. I would love to have guest bloggers on this page as well to tell their testimonies. There are so many incredible stories out there, and like I said in my last post let's take this journey together. We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimonies.