Following Truth

Isn't it weird how you can know something and not understand it at the same time? I have experienced this a lot. I know something is wrong, but I don't understand how it will actually effect my life, or I know something is true, but I don't feel like it is. Recently I've begun to understand the importance of following what you know is truth instead of what you feel is truth. For instance, I know that the sun rises in the east, but what if I spin around a few times, get confused and feel like the sun is now rising in the south. Is it actually rising in the south? No, the me in this example is obviously very delusional. Though this sounds ridiculous, this scenario can actually happen with a lot of things. We know something is true, but in certain circumstances it may not feel like it. Another example of this is a child knowing her parents love her and feeling like they don't. I know this is going to shock a lot of you, but I was actually a very rebellious child (who woulda thought right?), and because of this I was always in trouble. In the peek of my trouble-making career, when I was about eleven years old, I remember a time when my mom had literally grounded me from everything she could think of. I wasn't allowed to hanging out with friends, have any electronics, eat any food that tasted good, spend more than a certain amount of time in the bathroom, or leave the house for anything one might consider even slightly fun. She even grounded me from AWANA one week because I had too much fun with my friends there. Needless to say my life was miserable, and yet I still thought that picking on my little sister sounded like a good use of my now abundant time. After one incident I was grounded from my mattress. Yes, my mattress, the one thing I had left. My mom took my comfy, cozy mattress away from me, and even worse, she gave it to the very little sister I was feeling so much resentment toward. Even though I didn't see it at the time I now understand that my mother did this to me in efforts to get a point across, because she wants me to be a functioning adult, and because she loves me. (Thank mom <3)

"Where the root is deep there is no need
to fear the wind."

I can remember many times when my life did not feel good to me. It was not particularly fun or enjoyable. The recent months have been one of these times, and just like my story with the grounding, it has been a time of learning and a time of growth. I know that God is good. I know He loves me. I know He is for me. Even in these hard times He is overwhelmingly wonderful.
Last Sunday I was in church worshiping and the worship band started singing "You Are Good" by Kari Jobe. I love this song, and I know it is true, but it was really difficult that morning for me to sing it genuinely. I pressed through anyway. I have learned that to worship consistently is a discipline, it is a deeper thing to worship from what you know God has done and what you trust Him to do/be rather than how you feel. Sometimes you have to override what you feel with what you know is true. I have found that when you do this you will find breakthrough even if it's not the kind of breakthrough you had in mind. When you say "God, I feel alone, but I know you are with me" or "I feel like the sin in my life is too much to receive forgiveness, but I know that your grace is sufficient." When you believe what God says over what your own weaknesses say, you have true faith that nothing can take from you.
Maybe today you find yourself stressing about whatever plans you have this summer, a strained relationship, bills, or whatever, you can say "God, I am feel very anxious, but I choose to trust you. I know that you are in charge, and I trust that your way is the best way." Maybe you're going through finals in school and you haven't slept in three days because you've been up studying, memorizing, and going over flashcards all night long. You can take a breathe remembering that the truth is that our Lord is our strength. He has created your brain to be incredible, and you can do anything with Him on your side. The other day I worked 16 hours. I opened up at my first job at 5 in the morning, got off just in time to pick up the boys I nanny from school, and then ended up working an extra shift at night as well. It had to be one of the most exhausting days of my life, but I made it through with energy to spare because I chose to lean on God completely. Near the end of my last shift I was almost out of my mind, my eyes were watering all over the place because I was so tired (awkward ha), and I was praying in my head nonstop.
My point in all of this is that God is good. No matter what you are feeling He is good. He is good on your worst day, in whatever circumstance you find yourself in, and if you choose to lean on Him, He will carry you through. "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you." -Isaiah 41:13